Commentary:
Looks like we've scheduled the meeting for the 12th of Never-uary! 📅😂
167 Funny next quotes
No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.
Commentary:
Looks like you're booked for a haunting! 👻📅
Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.
Commentary:
Hopefully, your girlfriend gives you her own year-in-review! 😅🎧❤️
I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.
Commentary:
As my new coach, Netflix is insisting on a marathon, but I think they misunderstood! 🏃♀️🍿📺
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”
Commentary:
When you need a pillow manual just to get a good night's sleep 😂🛏️🔄
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.
Commentary:
Living that luxury lifestyle where my couch and stovetop become my guest rooms! 🛋️🍳🏰
And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.
Commentary:
Master of Disappearing Acts: Now you see me, now I'm awkwardly missing you while pretending to be busy! 🤹♂️✨😅
One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.
Commentary:
When did I go from wild nights to wild nights of spotless carpets? 🧹🤣
iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.
Commentary:
When your iPhone's spidey senses say, "Nah, better wait for Mercury to be out of retrograde first." 📱🔮🌌