Commentary:
Wow, wait till he finds out about Santa! 🎅📚😂
167 Funny next quotes
Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're setting tickle boundaries and asserting dominance in public! 🚌😄👋
It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌
Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’
Commentary:
Guess it's called "variety" when you own four shades of "almost the same" 😆👕👕👕👕
In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.
Commentary:
Guess the neighbors must be on the naughty list or Santa really needs those air miles! 🎅✈️🏠
Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.
Commentary:
🎄💔 When you give them your heart for Christmas, but they re-gift it like socks 😂👣
I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.
Commentary:
Wishing your lips a New Year full of smooch-tastic adventures! 😘💋🎉
There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?
Commentary:
I'm starting a petition to replace December with a bonus month of naps and canceled meetings 😴🗓️ Who's with me? 🙋♂️🔄
Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.
Commentary:
That's like offering a steak dinner to a hungry shark and expecting it to turn vegan 🦈🥩😂
Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?
Commentary:
Just waiting for the day when kids say "LOL" instead of laughing out loud, oh wait… 📚🤷♂️😂