149 Funny nothing quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

  Commentary:
  "Story of every hopeless romantic's life: Having a crush on someone who's as out of reach as WiFi on a deserted island 🤦‍♂️💔 Better luck next time, buddy! Maybe she'll break up with her boyfriend, or he'll turn out to be her annoying younger brother in disguise 🙈😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the graceful elegance of adulting – said no one ever! 🦌💃 Embrace the wobbly legs and uncertain steps, for the day's dance of life awaits!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

  Commentary:
  "Happy President's Day! Just following in the footsteps of our esteemed leaders by procrastinating on my responsibilities like a true POTUS 🇺🇸💤 #PresidentsDayProcrastination"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the quest to find oneself… only to realize it's just a mirage 🧐! It's like searching for treasure only to find an empty chest 🏴‍☠️. Who knew self-discovery came with a 'check back later' sign? 🔄🔍 #WhereDidIGo #LostAndFoundInMyself"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I'm disappointed in you' line from authority figures – the ultimate weapon of guilt! 🙄 Who knew they were expecting you to be the next superhero all along? 🦸‍♂️ Maybe they should lower their expectations to 'able to adult without setting the kitchen on fire.' 🤷‍♂️ Time to break free from the disappointment prison and live your best chaotic life! 🎉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

  Commentary:
  Ah, Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" perfectly captures the electric feeling of savoring those precious 5 minutes of blissful shut-eye before the alarm rudely interrupts the rock concert in your dreams 🎸🎶 Who knew heavy metal could be so soothing to the snooze button aficionados? 😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your closet is ready for a philosophical debate! 🤔 Maybe it's time to break out that "existential crisis chic" outfit you've been saving for the perfect occasion! Who knew Nietzsche had insight into both philosophy and fashion dilemmas? Time to show that closet who's boss and strut your stuff on that date! 💃🕺

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the unexpected time warp from Friday to Tuesday! Time to play catch up with the days like a real-life game of Where's Waldo 🤔⏰ #TimeTravelTroubles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew tomato soup could be so versatile? 🍅❄️🍸 It's a culinary adventure – cold, on the rocks, with a splash of vodka! Perfect for those moments when you want to warm your soul, but also keep it chill and sophisticated. Cheers to creative soup concoctions! 🥂😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of choosing between sleep and productivity! 🛌⏰ Who knew that hitting snooze could be such a risky business? 😅 Better watch out for those extra Z's, they might just lead to a morning full of adventure… or a mad dash out the door! ⏳☕️"

For even more funny nothing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny nothing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌