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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Trending via X:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Just shared via X:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Making waves on Slack:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Making waves on Telegram:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Home » Funny Offline Quotes

Funny offline quotes

Funny offline quotes bring a burst of laughter when you’re unplugged and away from screens 🤪📵. Perfect for those moments when Wi-Fi fails or you just want to enjoy the real world without digital drama 🌍✨. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and remember that life offline can be just as entertaining—if not more! 😂📚 #OfflineVibes #LaughOutLoud

New funny offline quotes 👇

For even more funny offline quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny offline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Spotted on Discord:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Live now on Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

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