Commentary:
Be honest, you’d have me microchipped and spoiled with treats in no time 😸🛋️
242 Funny pet quotes
Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to train my dog to be a private detective! 🕵️♂️🐶📱
I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.
Commentary:
Those pups are probably living their best life now, recounting handbags like they're war stories! 👜🐕🤣
I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a boyfriend with a built-in mute button 😂🤐 #QuietGoals
With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.
Commentary:
Survival of the fittest… or just the fluffiest! 🐾😅
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.
Commentary:
It's amazing how a goofy voice and a furball can turn anyone into Dr. Doolittle on happy pills! 🐶😄🐱
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.
Commentary:
I think my Tamagotchi would need therapy after spending too much time with me now 😂📵🐣
Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.
Commentary:
I tried it once, but the lack of purring just didn't cut it 😂🐱🏠
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?
Commentary:
Cats must think hairballs are the universe's surprise gifts—one minute you're clean, next minute you're saying "thanks, but no thanks" to a fur ball! 😹🎁
If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?
Commentary:
Ah yes, she’s already running a botanical daycare; adding one more needy creature (me) should be a breeze! 🌿🥴🪴