12 Funny picked quotes

• Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

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  4 weeks ago

  career, decade, humor, i, picked, struggle, timing, try, worst

• I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

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  2 months ago

  adoption, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cat, cats, else, everyone, funny observation, humor, i, just, know, moved, number, observation, only, people, pet, pet adoption, pet story, picked, shelter, story, tiny

• First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

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  2 months ago

  buying, celebration, firework, fireworks, first time, high five, humor, i, ID, me, ones, picked, right, salesman, sure, time, wink

• Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

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  2 months ago

  cringe, humor, i, joke, just, media, option, picked, report, sarcasm, social, social media, terrorism, video, wanted, YouTube

• I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

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  2 months ago

  answer, answering, believe, bravery, caller, caller ID, calling, communication, daredevil, hard, hello, i, ID, idea, just, nostalgia, phone, picked, surprise, used

• People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

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  2 months ago

  dog, dogs, exercise, humor, laziness, people, pet, picked, skateboard, teaching, training, vet, walk

• Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

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  2 months ago

  dislike, everything, food, humor, invention, meal, picked, plate, put, salad, separation, someone

• Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

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  2 months ago

  afterlife, being, heaven, humor, lazy, people, picked, picked up

• That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

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  2 months ago

  attitude, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, moments, office, office supply, pen, picked, procrastination, random, random moments, supply, today, unexpected, used, writing

• The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

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  2 months ago

  humor, picked, picked up, ready, reminder, responsibility, tomorrow, trash

All funny picked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌