Funny poison quotes

• It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

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  6 days ago

  alcohol, crazy, day, drinking, feel, hangover, health, humor, irony, next, poison, shit

• I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

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  1 week ago

  cooking, humor, i, man, men, poison, sarcasm, self-control, should

• We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

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  1 week ago

  apple, cheer, Disney, fairy, fairy tale, greed, greedy, humor, need, parody, poison, poison apple, princess, profiteer, satire, tale

• If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

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  2 weeks ago

  apple, fairy, fairy tale, food, food humor, food preference, humor, i, love, me, poison, preference, romance, snow, Snow White, something, taco, tale, white

• Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

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  3 weeks ago

  call, creativity, crime, direct, FBI, give, Googling, heads, humor, joke, just, line, poison, research, safety, should, someone, story, writers

• If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, answer, bite, death, die, give, humor, joke, poison, should, simply, snake, sure, survival, wait

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