Wordgag ツ

Jan 27, 2025
Share →: A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Commentary:
Ah, no wonder some folks confuse touchdowns with treaties! 🏈📜 Who needs a touchdown dance when you can have a historical huddle? 🕰️🏟️ Let's all take a moment to appreciate the importance of a well-rounded education! 📚🌟
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Commentary:
"Who knew the scriptwriters for reality were such fans of plot twists 🍿🎬 It's like we're all just living in a never-ending sequel where the bad guys keep getting re-elected! 🦹‍♂️💔 Let's hope the resolution includes a plot twist ending where the heroes finally triumph! 🦸‍♂️✨"
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dilemma of choosing between innocent chatter or the unpredictable chaos! It's like deciding between sticky lollipops and sour lemons 🍭🍋 – pick your poison wisely, folks! Let's hope we can all agree that both topics are best left unsweetened 😜!"
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Commentary:
"Ah, the undecided voter – the most sought-after creature during election season! 🤔🗳️ Seeking attention while keeping us all on our toes with those indecisive vibes. Who needs Netflix dramas when we have undecided voters? 😄 #ElectionDrama"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Commentary:
"Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Commentary:
"Nothing like announcing a surprise pregnancy to divert attention from a heated political debate! 🤰🏻🔥 Who needs CNN when you've got this strategic family diplomacy move? 😂"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where traffic jams are a thing of the past for music lovers! 🕺🚗 Speeding tickets might just become the new gig tickets under this presidency 😂🎶 #FastLaneBeats"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Future president plans to bend time! 🌀⏳ Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and hello to 'Happy Hour, Part 2'! 🍸🎉 Who needs a TARDIS when we've got a president with time-bending powers? ⏰🇺🇸 #PresidentialPriorities"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Commentary:
"No bribes yet? Maybe it's time to up your corruption game and aim for that power position! 💰💼😂 #CorruptAndWilling"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Commentary:
"Who needs a steady job when you can have a president who promises NO jobs? 🤷‍♂️ Unemployment is the new retirement plan! 💼💸 #JoblessAndHappy"