Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,050

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Going viral on Facebook:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Just landed via Messenger:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Just shared via WeChat:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Trending via Snapchat:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Shared recently on Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Funny pro quotes

Funny pro quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom that bring a smile to every professional’s day 😄💼 Whether you’re powering through meetings or tackling emails, these clever gems add a splash of humor to the work grind 🎉✨ Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with your favorite coworkers! 😎📢 #WorkLife #ProHumor

New funny pro quotes 👇

All funny pro quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Just landed via Telegram:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Just shared via Discord:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Spotted on WeChat:

My love language is being sent money.

Trending via Slack:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴