19 Funny resume quotes

• Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

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  1 month ago

  desk, fitness, humor, i, joke, labor, manual, manual labor, productivity, resume, standing, standing desk, work

• Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

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  1 month ago

  explain, gap, humor, i, job, move, picture, resume, tried, word, work

• Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

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  1 month ago

  excuse, fantasy, gap, help, Hobbits, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, Mordor, resume, ring, something, take, tell

• No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

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  1 month ago

  awkward, awkward moment, doing, employment, gap, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, moment, question, resume, tell

• I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

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  1 month ago

  dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume

• I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

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  1 month ago

  Blockbuster, call, CEO, confirm, humor, job, job title, joke, nostalgia, put, resume, store, title, video, video store

• My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

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  1 month ago

  9, company, CV, exaggeration, good, humor, job, job search, months, nine, nine months, reading, resume, search, still

• My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

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  1 month ago

  again, career, experience, hope, humor, i, job, just, list, never, resume, task, things, work

• Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

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  1 month ago

  architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience

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