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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Live now on WeChat:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Shared recently on Threads:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Going viral on WeChat:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Live now on YouTube:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Just landed via Reddit:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Spotted on Discord:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Just landed via Discord:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Spotted on YouTube:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Going viral on Telegram:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

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