78 Funny saying quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

  Commentary:
  💌💔 Don't just say you miss me, show me the discount honey! 💸😂 Come on, brands, step up your game! There's a line of people waiting to win me back, get in on the competition! 🏆 #CouponOrBust #MissingMeAintEnough

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

  Commentary:
  "Starting conversations with short people by saying 'back when I was your height…' is the quickest way to have them look up to you both figuratively and literally. 🙃 It's all fun and games until they challenge you to a height competition! 📏 #ShortandSweet"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out, Copperfield! ✨ This person's ability to make things vanish would put any magician to shame. 🎩🐇 Who needs a magic wand when you have impeccable disappearing skills? 🔮💫 Abracadabra, clutter be gone! 🧙‍♂️🚫 #MessyButMagical"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

  Commentary:
  "Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

  Commentary:
  Well, that depends on whether your therapist is trying to give you financial advice instead of emotional support! 💸😂 It might be time to consider a new therapist if they're more interested in cashing in than helping you work through your issues. Just remember, therapy is meant to provide healing, not just cha-ching! 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the art of passive-aggressive politeness at its finest 👏 You're always welcome for those unsolicited 'You're welcome!' moments. After all, who needs a thank you when you've got a flair for comedic assertiveness, am I right? 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew skipping the gym could lead to amnesia? 🏋️‍♂️ Maybe it's time to 'weight' no longer and re-exercise your memory muscles!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this person ain't just cheesy with their jokes, but also quite literally made of cheese! 🧀🧬 Who knew their family tree had so many delicious branches? Bet they're grate company at parties! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a best friend when you can have a basket of fries by your side? 🍟👯‍♂️ Truly, fries are the unsung heroes of the culinary world, always there for you in times of hunger and craving. Remember, a fry in need is a friend indeed! 😉 #FriendshipGoals #FryDayEveryday"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

  Commentary:
  "Let's all push for a world where 'better you than me' becomes the ultimate compassion phrase for chronic complainers. 🙃 It's the polite way of saying 'I don't have time for your drama, but thanks for the entertainment!' 😂 #NormalizeBetterYouThanMe"

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