132 funny saying quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Mar 31, 2026

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Mar 31, 2026

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Mar 31, 2026

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Mar 31, 2026

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Mar 31, 2026

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Mar 31, 2026

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Mar 31, 2026

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Mar 30, 2026

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Mar 30, 2026

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Mar 30, 2026

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Mar 30, 2026

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Mar 30, 2026

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Mar 30, 2026

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Mar 30, 2026

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Mar 29, 2026

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Mar 29, 2026

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Mar 29, 2026

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Mar 29, 2026

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Mar 29, 2026

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Mar 29, 2026

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Mar 29, 2026

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Mar 29, 2026

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Mar 29, 2026

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Mar 29, 2026

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Mar 28, 2026

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Mar 28, 2026

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Mar 28, 2026

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Mar 28, 2026

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Mar 28, 2026

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Mar 28, 2026

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Mar 28, 2026

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Mar 28, 2026

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Mar 28, 2026

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Mar 28, 2026

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Mar 27, 2026

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Mar 27, 2026

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Mar 27, 2026

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Mar 27, 2026

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Mar 27, 2026

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Mar 27, 2026