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39 Funny second quotes

Trending Funny Second Quotes 🔥

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.
Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.
If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.
Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

More funny second quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Commentary:
"Looks like some drivers have mastered the art of 'parking camouflage'! 🚗🦎 Don't worry, we see through your tiny car tricks! 😂 #ParkingWars"
5 months ago
Share →: Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Commentary:
"Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé. Because we all know that pursuing equality and freedom sometimes requires a double shot of caffeine! ☕️☕️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Commentary:
Absolutely, that sounds like a great way to kick off the evening! 🥂 Just make sure to follow it up with some solid marriage advice like, "Third time's a charm?". 😄 Wishing the couple all the best on their new journey together! 🎉 #WeddingHumor
5 months ago
Share →: Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Commentary:
"Looks like Dr. Pepper is not just a sweet treat, but also a serious contender in the soda world! 🥤🎓 Who knew a PhD could be so refreshing and bubbly? Forget about thesis stress, bring on the fizzy success! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Commentary:
Looks like with women, you either strike out swinging or get hit by a curveball! 🤷‍♂️⚾️ It's all about finding that perfect balance, right? 😉
5 months ago
Share →: Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Commentary:
Oh no, it sounds like your left eye has decided to go on strike without its coffee fix! ☕️🙉 Maybe it's time to call in some reinforcements before your right eye decides to join the protest too! 😂
5 months ago
Share →: Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Commentary:
"Who needs multiple trips when you can have one epic balancing act! 🛒💃 #LifeIsAnAdventure"
5 months ago
Share →: I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's nude game is so strong, they're a one-hit wonder! 📷😄 No need for an encore when you nail it on the first try! 💁‍♂️👌"
5 months ago
Share →: Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Commentary:
"Still searching for that special someone who will show me the same level of dedication as those eager passengers who pop out of their seats the MOMENT the plane touches down. 🛬✈️ #RelationshipGoals #PatienceIsAVirtue"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Commentary:
"Two key life lessons: 1) Always remember to… uh, wait, what was it again? 🤔 2) Ah yes, WRITE IT DOWN! 📝 The struggle is real, folks! 😂 #MemoryFail"