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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Trending via Discord:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Spotted on Messenger:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Trending via Telegram:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on Snapchat:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Just shared via WeChat:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

31 Funny self-acceptance quotes

Funny self-acceptance quotes bring a splash of laughter 😂 to the journey of loving yourself just as you are. Embracing quirks and flaws with a smile 😜 makes self-love feel light and joyful. Ready to laugh at life’s little imperfections and celebrate your unique vibe? Let these witty words boost your confidence and brighten your day 🌟✨!

New funny self-acceptance quotes 👇

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

1 week ago

age, aging, attitude, being, called, care, cool, cooler, geezer, humor, less, only, paradox, self-acceptance, true
Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

1 week ago

advice, authenticity, even, humor, liked, liking, people, pressure, self-acceptance, social, social pressure, stop, trying
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

1 week ago

acceptance, body, body image, confidence, dress, fat, humor, i, image, self, self-acceptance, summer, think, want, well
I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

1 week ago

embrace, flaw, flaws, humor, i, joke, order, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, self-acceptance, tried
There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

1 week ago

always, body, body image, contortion, humor, humor quote, image, keep, new, perspective, self-acceptance, self-image, self-view, view, yourself
Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

1 week ago

being, confidence, encouragement, humor, individuality, self-acceptance, start, stop, uniqueness, weird, weirdness, worrying
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

1 week ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

2 weeks ago

addiction, being, easier, humor, i, lot, myself, reflection, self-acceptance, self-esteem, sober, struggle
I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

2 weeks ago

apology, bad, batshit, batshit crazy, call, confidence, crazy, humor, me, perception, self-acceptance, sorry, sound, thing, think, uniqueness
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

2 weeks ago

family, humor, identity, job, joke, parent, parents, personality, self-acceptance, shame

For even more funny self-acceptance quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-acceptance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

45 shares on Slack this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Just shared via YouTube:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Seen just now on X:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Trending via X:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Trending via YouTube:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

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