Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Seen just now on X:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Just landed via Reddit:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

17 Funny superpower quotes

Funny superpower quotes give a playful twist to the fantasy of having extraordinary abilities! 🦸‍♂️🤣 From imagining the hilarious side effects of your dream powers to laughing at the quirks of fictional heroes, these quotes are sure to spark a smile. Embrace the fun of superhuman imaginings and enjoy a good laugh with these funny superpower quotes! 😄💥

New funny superpower quotes 👇

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

0

2 days ago

couch, cushion, humor, keeping, laziness, relaxation, superpower, warm
My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

0

4 weeks ago

even, humor, i, management, procrastination, superpower, time, time management, wasting, wasting time
My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

0

2 months ago

attitude, eye, eyes, finger, gesture, giving, humor, middle, middle finger, only, sarcasm, superpower, using
Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

0

2 months ago

ability, detail, direction, distraction, exaggeration, humor, incredible, irony, self-deprecating, superpower, wrong, wrong direction
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

0

2 months ago

communication, distraction, eyes, hearing, humor, i, listening, not hearing, right, single, superpower, talking, word
My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, exhaustion, humor, i, relatable, sleep, superpower, tired, wake, wake up
Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

0

2 months ago

fitness, gaining, humor, irony, losing, self-deprecation, superpower, weight
Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, microplastic, sarcasm, superpower, Tupperware, wit

For even more funny superpower quotes, hit next 👇

All funny superpower quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

100 shares on Threads this month:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

93 shares on Threads this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Just landed via X:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Spotted on YouTube:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Making waves on Threads:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Going viral on Threads:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Live now on Threads:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Making waves on YouTube:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Spotted on Reddit:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

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