Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Commentary:
"Maybe babies secretly have a 'terrifying human' leaderboard in their cribs, with us at the top spot 🥇! Watch out, parents, the tiny tyrants are onto us!! 👶😱"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: I hope this email kills us both.

Commentary:
Subject: The Dreaded Email Monster 💌👹

"Ah, the infamous email of doom has arrived! 💀 Brace yourselves, my dear recipient, for this digital beast means business! 📧🔥 Will we survive the wrath of its unread notifications and overwhelming subject lines, or succumb to its deadly attachments? Stay strong, my friend, and may we meet again on the other side of the inbox abyss! 😂💻 #EmailNightmare"
6 months ago
Share →: I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Commentary:
"Besties who match together, stay crazy together! 🤪🎁👯‍♀️ Who needs matching sweaters when you can twin in straight jackets? 😂 #bffgoals #crazychristmas"
6 months ago
Share →: Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Commentary:
"Maybe Netflix missed a trick by not sending us all a DVD of this epic fight – because who doesn't love snail mail, right? 📬💿😂 Plus, imagine the bonus features, like director's commentary and blooper reel! 🎬🤣 #MailboxAndChill"
6 months ago
Share →: I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Commentary:
"Well, let's hope the candidate's policies are more forward-thinking than their campaign strategy! 🤣 Looks like we'll be taking some slow and steady steps into the future, with a few playful detours along the way. 🐢🛑 #ElectionDayAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Commentary:
Ah, elections – the ultimate family drama on a national scale! 🤣 It's like we're all caught in the crossfire of a messy breakup, anxiously waiting to see who ends up with custody of our future. 🗳️💔 Let's just hope they don't make us choose between weekends and holidays! #ElectionDrama #CustodyBattle
6 months ago
Share →: Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone missed the memo on the whole 'free pass to heaven' deal… 💸🙏 Maybe they should have read the fine print! 😂 #HeavenlyFinances"
6 months ago
Share →: Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Commentary:
"Political ads out here like: 'Give us your cash so we can bombard you with more of our delightful propaganda!' 💸🎥 #PayToSuffer"
6 months ago
Share →: The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Commentary:
"Who knew pet insurance came with a 'pawsome' bonus? 🤣🐾 It's like a 'poo-dle' of fun while your dachshund gets pampered at the vet! Talk about a 'fetching' deal! 🐩 #PetInsurancePerks"