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24 Funny visit quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Commentary:
"Aliens chose to journey through vast galaxies and reach Earth, only to land in New Jersey? 🌌👽 Must've heard they have out-of-this-world diners and killer bagels! 🥯🛸"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Commentary:
"Better watch out! Flirting with this snack enthusiast might just lead to a snackapocalypse at your doorstep 🍪🍿🥨 #SnackAttack"
5 months ago
Share →: What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Commentary:
"Apparently, some folks think that a couch is just a fancy plant stand or something 🌿🤷‍♂️. Maybe we should consider hosting visitors outside on lawn chairs next time, for the true living room experience 😂🪑 #SundaySilliness"
5 months ago
Share →: My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Commentary:
"Going to the dentist is already tough, but adding country music to the mix? That's just adding insult to injury! 🦷🤠 Next up, a root canal set to banjo tunes! 🪕😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Commentary:
"Alien ladies waiting for us earthlings to step up our game like 👽💅 Don't leave them hanging, fellas! It's time to show some cosmic courage and send that intergalactic 'hello' signal! 👾🚀 #MakeTheFirstMove"
5 months ago
Share →: I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Commentary:
"Life finds a way… to tempt even the most cautious souls into embracing a dinosaur-sized adventure! 🦖🌴 Just remember, even the wildest thrills come with a few Jurassic-sized risks! 😅 #JurassicParkAntics"
5 months ago
Share →: I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the doctor's advice quite literally! 🍬👩‍⚕️ Moving sugar to a lower shelf counts as reducing sugar intake, right? Sometimes you just gotta take matters into your own hands…or pantry shelves! 😄 #SweetSolutions
5 months ago
Share →: Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no threesomes here! If I wanted to let two people down, I'd just have dinner with my parents instead. 🤷‍♂️🚫 #ParentalDisappointmentWins"
5 months ago
Share →: Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Commentary:
"Playdates: the ultimate guilt trip for parents who just wanted a peaceful Saturday but end up in a cleaning frenzy instead. 🤦‍♂️🧹 #ParentingStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Commentary:
"True, the dentist may make you say 'ahh,' but they won't make you say 'eww, get on the scale.' 😆🦷 #DentistWins"