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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Just landed via WeChat:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Going viral on Slack:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

22 Funny work-life balance quotes

Funny work-life balance quotes bring a much-needed laugh 🤣 to the daily hustle between meetings and Netflix binges 🎬. They remind us that juggling deadlines and downtime doesn’t have to be so serious 🤹‍♂️. Ready to smile while navigating your 9-to-5 chaos and weekend vibes? Let’s dive into some hilarious truths that make the work-life rollercoaster a little more fun 🎢✨!

New funny work-life balance quotes 👇

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

0

2 months ago

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance
To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0

2 months ago

30, 30-30, 30-30 rule, after, avoid, balance, burnout, disappear, escape, humor, job, minutes, mountain, quit, relief, retirement, rule, stress, stress relief, work, work life, work-life balance
You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

0

2 months ago

allowed, balance, early, enough, humor, leave, leaving, leaving early, miss, relationship, should, wife, work, work life, work-life balance
I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

0

2 months ago

balance, frustration, humor, leisure, little, short, short weekend, sick, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

balance, decision, focus, girlfriend, humor, job, love, quitting, relationship, thinking, work life, work-life balance
When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

0

2 months ago

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance
The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

0

2 months ago

balance, domestic, domestic life, home, humor, husband, life, marriage, real, relationships, work, work from home, work husband, work life, work-life balance, working, workplace, workplace humor, worst
Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

0

2 months ago

adult, adults, balance, break, fun, job, jobs, relaxation, should, spring, spring break, vacation, work life, work-life balance
All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

0

2 months ago

balance, date, deadline, deadlines, humor, i, meet, priority, relationship, want, work life, work-life balance
Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, enough, fun, leisure, longer, petition, time, time off, weekend, work life, work-life balance

For even more funny work-life balance quotes, hit next 👇

All funny work-life balance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

80 shares on X this month:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

92 shares on Discord this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Shared recently on Discord:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Going viral on Telegram:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Breaking via Instagram:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Just shared via Twitch:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Seen just now on Discord:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Going viral on WeChat:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

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