I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.