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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Trending via Slack:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Just landed via Slack:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Spotted on WeChat:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Breaking via Discord:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh yeah, my "job" is definitely a "real" career… so I'm doing just "great" 😂✌️

air, annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, finger, finger quotation, humor, interaction, introduction, job, job title, little, prank, quotation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, someone, title

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

1 month ago

bumper, bumper sticker, humor, i, irony, observation, read, reading, self-deprecating, sticker, stupid
The shitshow must go on.

4 months ago

chaos, humor, mess, motivation, persistence
I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

2 months ago

around, bag, bombs, breaking, cat, chaos, everyone, glass, glass breaking, going, humor, i, inside, looking, love, me, messy, messy bag, searching, something
Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

1 month ago

around, before, cleaning, drawer, food, fridge, humor, independence, movement, procrastination, something, vegetable
In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

2 months ago

animals, ever, going, home, humor, i, life, longing, nostalgia, pigeon, previous, previous life, think, travel
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

1 month ago

aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Trending via WeChat:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Spotted on X:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Seen just now on YouTube:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Breaking via X:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Spotted on Twitch:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

The shitshow must go on.

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

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If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

The shitshow must go on.

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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