Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Just shared via Threads:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Just shared via WeChat:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Spotted on Threads:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎄💔 When you give them your heart for Christmas, but they re-gift it like socks 😂👣

away, Christmas, day, disappointment, feel, gift, give, giving, heart, heartbreak, humor, imagine, next, relationship, someone, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning
It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

3 months ago

eating, expand, food, friendship, fun, humor, important, life, people, relationship, sharing, snack, social, social life, taste
I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

2 months ago

again, color, color preference, emotional, emotional healing, girl, girls, healing, i, liking, means, pink, preference, start, think
I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

2 months ago

always, around, bathrobe, day, fence, going, home, humor, i, neighbors, privacy, privacy fence, start, strategy, walking, wanted, yard
I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

2 months ago

guys, humor, i, joke, late, lifestyle, mafia, never, night, sleep, stay
In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

2 months ago

American, bible, eve, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McRib, religious, religious joke, satire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

21 shares on Discord this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

41 shares on Threads this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just landed via Slack:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Making waves on X:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on X:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Trending via TikTok:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Just landed via WeChat:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Live now on Discord:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨