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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I am single, please disturb me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Spotted on Telegram:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Making waves on WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Making waves on Threads:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Just shared via YouTube:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to hide from the camera, but forgetting your phone is basically writing your biography 😂📱🔍📚

Amazon, camera, camera tape, collection, data, data collection, Facebook, file, Google, information, life, over, personal, personal information, privacy, surveillance, tape, technology, while, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

0

6 months ago

bet, dumb, even, fake, fake laugh, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, relationship, sarcasm
At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong
I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

across, avoidance, barefoot, carpet, high, high school reunion, humor, i, Lego, legos, pain, reunion, school, walk
Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, hack, happiness, health, humor, life, life hack, mental, mental health, mood, positivity, relaxation, sad, sleep
Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

0

2 months ago

believe, experience, heartbreak, honor, hurt, i, irony, love, me, people, relationship, sarcasm, sometimes
Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

0

3 months ago

3, asking, doing, employee, employees, happy, hiring, humor, i, interview, job, jobs, let, me, please, reference, references, same, start, talk, think, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

61 shares on X this month:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Trending via WeChat:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Making waves on X:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Shared recently on Threads:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨