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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Trending via TikTok:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Just shared via Messenger:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Making waves on TikTok:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

2 months ago

0

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

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Commentary:
Me, at the intervention: "Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place." 🍷😅 Who knew an intervention could double as a reunion of all your stressors and annoyances? Cheers to facing your problems head-on… or with a glass of wine in hand! 🍷🤪 #CheersToSelf-Improvement

addiction, drink, event, gathering, humor, i, intervention, me, place, reasons, self-awareness, social, social event

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, days, gap, generational, generational gap, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, people, perspective, too, young, youth
Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry man, don’t, future, future house, home, house, humor, i, living, living situation, man, situation, things, things I don’t want, want
I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

0

2 months ago

broke, finance, humor, i, joke, money, myself, poverty, self-debt
And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

0

2 months ago

emotional, expression, farewell, feeling, going, humor, love, million, miss, missing, next, trick, unspoken, unspoken feeling, ways
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

0

5 months ago

awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time
Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

0

2 months ago

close, food, fry, humor, onion, onion ring, ring, rings, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

67 shares on X this month:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Just shared via Discord:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Just shared via Threads:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Spotted on Reddit:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

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