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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

4,039

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Being a rebel, one trash day at a time! 🗑️😎🦸‍♂️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

1 month ago

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Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

2 months ago

coping, day, facade, feelings, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, reality, scream, smile
Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

1 month ago

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Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

4 months ago

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I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

3 months ago

calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work
Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

1 day ago

72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Trending via Threads:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

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Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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