My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

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Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

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The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

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Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

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Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

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I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

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Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

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People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

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People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.