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Youโ€™re like if โ€œnopeโ€ was a person.

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Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

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I donโ€™t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

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Several of my internal organs hurt, but Iโ€™m 100% sure itโ€™s not my body trying to tell me something.

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Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how youโ€™ll look wearing a new shirt after youโ€™ve been decapitated.

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Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

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Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

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Another Monday that no one asked for.

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No email needs to tell me not to reply.

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I sent you a message telepathically and you didnโ€™t respond. Are you mad at me?

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My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Commentary:
"Looks like this outfit is serving up both luxury and sweetness! ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ’โ€โ™€๏ธ Who needs a wardrobe upgrade when you're rocking a chocolate-coated designer look? #FashionGoals #SweetAndStylish"



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