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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Making waves on Threads:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Shared recently on Slack:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

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Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.
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Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate lesson in "how to adult," where you learn survival skills like finding loose change and mastering the art of commercial break time travel! 🤑📺😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WeChat this month:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

89 shares on Reddit this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

36 shares on Slack this month:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For the record, I use a turntable.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,057

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Just shared via Threads:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Live now on Slack:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Going viral on X:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Making waves on Reddit:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Trending via YouTube:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Live now on Discord:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Just landed via TikTok:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Trending via Slack:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

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