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Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate lesson in "how to adult," where you learn survival skills like finding loose change and mastering the art of commercial break time travel! 🤑📺😂

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

2 months ago

ago, communication, daily, daily life, five, great, humor, husband, i, leave, life, marriage, me, means, minutes, relationship, sarcasm, time, timing, wife
“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

4 months ago

healthcare, humor, i, interaction, live, me, medical, medical receptionist, met, never, patient, patient interaction, receptionist, sarcasm, wanted
My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

2 months ago

accident, animal, animal behavior, behavior, bird, clumsiness, flying, humor, self-deprecating, spirit, spirit animal, unconscious, window, Windows
I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

2 months ago

cleaning, closet, first step, good, humor, i, organization, over, procrastination, self-improvement, step, today
I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

2 months ago

bargain, end, expectation, follow, here, humor, i, irony, joke, Nigerian, Nigerian prince, prince, scam, wait, waiting
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

5 months ago

behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

71 shares on Slack this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

41 shares on Instagram this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

80 shares on X this month:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Shared recently on WeChat:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Seen just now on Threads:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Just landed via Messenger:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Going viral on Reddit:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨