Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.