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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

If someone texts β€œDo you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has copied:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Just shared via Telegram:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Trending via Reddit:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Just shared via Slack:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Live now on Threads:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

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Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception πŸ…πŸ˜’πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

23 shares on X this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, β€œSCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to β€˜like’ them.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via WhatsApp:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Live now on Messenger:

Normalize saying, β€œJust as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via X:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Just landed via WeChat:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Spotted on Reddit:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

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