Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Making waves on Threads:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Making waves on Instagram:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just shared via Twitch:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Going viral on Facebook:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Making waves on TikTok:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Coffee is just goth water.

Breaking via Messenger:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about distrust and honesty, with a playful and sharp tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception 🏅😒🤦‍♂️

arrogance, deception, dishonesty, dumb, frustration, hate, i, insult, liar, sarcasm, thing, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

33 shares on Threads this month:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Making waves on X:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Trending via Messenger:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Live now on Instagram:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Trending via Telegram:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Breaking via Slack:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨