Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Going viral on Slack:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Live now on WeChat:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Love is in the air fryer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Trending via Messenger:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

More funny quotes 👇

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

0

5 months ago

exercise, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, jail, prison, should, workout
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

5 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

0

5 months ago

humor, just, me, midnight, money, night, night owl, online, online shopping, owl, real, shopping, shopping spree, spending, spree
Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

0

5 months ago

fabulous, forest, forest ghost, ghost, Halloween, hauntingly, hauntingly fabulous, humor, inner, lost, self-expression, spooky
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

0

5 months ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

0

5 months ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

0

5 months ago

account, days, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, motivation, routine, row, workout
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

0

5 months ago

always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

92 shares on Discord this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Making waves on WeChat:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Just shared via TikTok:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨