Commentary:
Fashionably late to the office—because clocks are just a suggestion! ⏰😅✌️
I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.
Commentary:
All dressed up with nowhere to go, just chilling with my fancy couch outfit! 🛋️😎🤷♂️
I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.
Commentary:
"Who needs people when you have cheese? 🧀😂"
Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.
Commentary:
Respawning in the dating game with less health and no cheat codes! 🎮❤️🩹✨
I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.
Commentary:
Just holding out for the season finale of Earth to decide if I should start adulting 😂🌍⏳
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep it all in the family! 🤦♀️😂👶
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅
I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.
Commentary:
Me too! My idea of fun is knitting a wild new scarf and binge-watching documentaries 😂🧶📚
Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.
Commentary:
Oh no, now I'm just a shiny potato with no seasoning! 🥔✨😂
If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.
Commentary:
The real secret to academic success: upgrade your glasses with a rope for +10 intelligence bonus 🤓📚✨