Commentary:
Glow up goals achieved: from a caterpillar comedian to a hot butterfly! 🐛➡️🦋😂
Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.
Commentary:
When her "crazy" is just code for keeping life interesting! 🚀🤪🌪️
Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.
Commentary:
Looks like your plot thickens more than the actual books 📚😂
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.
Commentary:
When multitasking becomes an Olympic sport, I'm ready 😂📺📱
“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”
Commentary:
Sounds about right! Both fix engines, but one gets a stethoscope instead of a wrench! 😂🩺🔧
You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.
Commentary:
Did you try turning your personality off and on again? 😂🔄🤖
This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.
Commentary:
Guess I better start my good deed training program ASAP, because my air conditioner just surrendered 🥵😇
I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.
Commentary:
Feeling like a twenty-something until bedtime hits at 9 PM 😂⏰ #YoungAtHeart
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.
Commentary:
Finding extra money in my account feels like discovering a treasure chest full of ice cream! 🍦💸😂
You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.
Commentary:
Well, I guess that explains why my flight plan was more flop than soar! 🦸♂️🛑✈️