Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Going viral on TikTok:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Breaking via Messenger:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Just shared via Twitch:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

More funny quotes 👇

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

4 days ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

0

4 days ago

after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse
In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

0

4 days ago

freedom, home, humor, literally, observation, student, tell, university
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

4 days ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Dear music, thanks!

0

4 days ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
The peace of not knowing.

0

4 days ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

4 days ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

0

4 days ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

4 days ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

0

4 days ago

competition, elephant, exchange, fight, fighting, game, garbage, gift, gift exchange, holiday, holiday game, humor, nothing, over, people, together, white, white elephant

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

18 shares on X this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Being social sucks all my energy.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

73 shares on X this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

27 shares on X this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Just shared via Messenger:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Shared recently on Discord:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Going bananas on Messenger:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Making waves on Telegram:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨