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Commentary:
🚑💡 "Saw an article on '100 things to do before you die.' Apparently, calling 911 didn't make the cut! Guess some thrills are just too intense for that bucket list! 🤣"

911, article, before, call, die, list, saw, surprise, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

5 months ago

adulting, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, just, last, lot, money, mortgage, mortgage payment, paying, payment, sarcasm, still, yay
I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

2 months ago

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

5 months ago

advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

2 months ago

bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

2 months ago

am, conversation, excellent, humor, i, listener, myself, self-talk, talk
The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

2 months ago

Bachelor, Brooklyn, dating, humor, Madison, meet, reality, reality show, relationships, Savannah, show

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Discord this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

71 shares on X this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

45 shares on X this month:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

67 shares on X this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Going viral on Slack:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just landed via TikTok:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Shared recently on Discord:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Spotted on WeChat:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨