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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Just landed via Telegram:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Making waves on Twitch:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Breaking via X:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Spotted on Facebook:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Just landed via X:

Earth is hard.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Breaking via YouTube:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.
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Commentary:
"Who knew time travel could be so mundane? 🕰️🧳 I guess superhero capes are optional when adjusting the microwave clock on a lazy Sunday morning! ⏰😆 #LamestTimeTravelEver"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Spotted on Facebook:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Making waves on Reddit:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

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