Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew time travel could be so mundane? 🕰️🧳 I guess superhero capes are optional when adjusting the microwave clock on a lazy Sunday morning! ⏰😆 #LamestTimeTravelEver"

change, clock, domestic, domestic life, ever, form, humor, kitchen, laziness, life, microwave, morning, robe, Sunday, Sunday morning, time, time travel, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

0

3 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

0

3 months ago

attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction
The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

0

2 months ago

am, best, best moment, daily, daily routine, day, humor, i, identity, know, moment, morning, routine, self-discovery, time
Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

0

3 months ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time
When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

0

17 hours ago

amore, brain, gun, humor, pun, suicide, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

61 shares on X this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Just landed via Threads:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Shared recently on X:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Seen just now on Slack:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Just landed via X:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Making waves on Slack:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨