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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Trending via Reddit:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Going viral on Reddit:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Making waves on Threads:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

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Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.
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Commentary:
"Sure, but you'll only find memes and cat pics in stock today! 📱😂🐱"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Reddit this month:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

83 shares on Slack this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Just landed via Reddit:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Making waves on Threads:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Making waves on Slack:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just landed via Discord:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

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