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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Trending via Messenger:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Spotted on YouTube:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Just shared via Facebook:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Making waves on YouTube:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, but you'll only find memes and cat pics in stock today! 📱😂🐱"

addiction, app, asked, bum, delete, deleted, humor, i, Instagram, media, phone, request, scroll, social, social media, someone, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

2 months ago
breathing, humor, interrupt, joke, rest, sleep, threat
The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

1 month ago
aggressive, bro, chill, come out, getting, humor, morning, pee, threaten, urge
One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

2 months ago
again, clutter, digital, digital clutter, humor, i, irony, memory, need, never, organization, procrastination, screenshot, swear, talent, technology
I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

2 months ago
appearance, centaur, expression, extension, gender, hair, hair extension, hairstyle, humor, i, know, want, women
None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

1 month ago
font, fonts, humor, identity, Instagram, me, media, none, self-expression, social, social media, story
I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

5 months ago
admire, awkward, awkward tan line, forever, heal, healing, humor, i, line, lines, patience, skin, summer, tan, tan line, time, wound, wounds

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Just shared via Threads:

They expect me to work at work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Trending via Twitch:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

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Activity Log ✨

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

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Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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