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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Making waves on Slack:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Spotted on Threads:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Going viral on WeChat:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Just shared via WeChat:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

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Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like my leg's a drum soloist while my head's on a 'no headbanging' contract! 🥁😅 #LegLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on X this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like even faster food.

77 shares on Threads this month:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Going bananas on Instagram:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

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