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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Just landed via Facebook:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Breaking via Slack:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Just landed via Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Freshly posted on Slack:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

They’re making me do work at work.

Playful quote about workplace frustrations and humor in being forced to work.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Is there anything more outrageous than being forced to work at work? 🤯🙄 Who let that happen? The nerve! 😂 #WorkFromAnywhereAsLongAsYouDontActuallyHaveToDoWork"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

28 shares on Slack this month:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Shared recently on X:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going viral on Discord:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Trending via Threads:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Going viral on Reddit:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Trending via Instagram:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

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