Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Breaking via Threads:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Live now on Slack:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Going viral on Discord:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Going viral on Messenger:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just landed via Threads:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Seen just now on Slack:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finding clothes while thrifting: when you either look like a gladiator or a toddler playing dress-up! 🛍️🤣👗

awesome, big, big guy, body, body size, clothing, clothing size, fashion, guy, guys, humor, shopping, size, small, small woman, thrift, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

0

2 months ago

desire, fun, humor, i, longing, low key, need, right, wish
A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

0

2 months ago

afraid, digital, digital relationship, etiquette, happening, hate, humor, internet, internet humor, knowing, life, media, moment, online, online life, pressure, privacy, relationship, silence, social, social media, social media etiquette, social pressure, unfriend, unfriending, us
I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday
One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

0

2 months ago

bed, both, humor, just, logic, need, night, night stand, one-night stand, people, relationship, sense, sides, single, stand
Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, dating, dating advice, humor, personality, relationship, sure, tip
The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

0

2 months ago

body, comparison, dead, dead body, difference, garage, humor, i, joke, Lamborghini, possessions, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Trending via Reddit:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Going viral on Threads:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Seen just now on Discord:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Breaking via Reddit:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨