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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Seen just now on X:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Just landed via Facebook:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like starting a wildlife diner is the secret to happiness! 🐦🍼🐿️

activity, bird, birds, depression, feeding, good, health, hobby, mental, mental health, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, porch, pretty, relaxation, sitting, squirrel, squirrels, treatment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

2 months ago
apology, behavior, bit, bite, hand, humor, i, pet, pet behavior, popcorn, snack, sorry
There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

1 month ago
celebrity, fame, humor, people, ruin, ruined, TV
I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

3 months ago
absolutely, fall, hear, humor, i, love, music, obsession, play, repetition, song
I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

1 month ago
chloroform, exhaustion, humor, ID, kids, know, night, parenting, people, sleep, tranquilizers
All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

2 months ago
am, bills, finances, good, good to go, humor, i, money, outstanding, sarcasm
Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

3 months ago
animal, animal behavior, away, behavior, car, comparison, crazy, day, found, funny comparison, gas, gas station, got, having, horse, humor, imagine, later, life, medieval, medieval times, modern, modern life, ran, run, runaway, runaway horse, scared, station, times, transportation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Just landed via Messenger:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just shared via TikTok:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

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Activity Log ✨

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

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Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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