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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Shared recently on Slack:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Spotted on YouTube:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Making waves on TikTok:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

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We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll have to settle for a snowcone instead of a cake slice 😂☃️🍰

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

44 shares on X this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

49 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

73 shares on X this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Spotted on Twitch:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Breaking via TikTok:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Making waves on Instagram:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Making waves on YouTube:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

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