Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Making waves on Slack:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Trending via Threads:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Just shared via Reddit:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Trending via Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Just landed via Pinterest:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When two scared warriors meet for the legendary exchange of mildly used household goods 😅🤝🛍️ #BraveHearts

afraid, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, fear, funny situation, guy, husband, kidnap, kidnapped, marketplace, me, online, online purchase, pick, pickup, purchase, sent, shell, situation, something, wife, wife fear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

0

2 months ago

culture, distraction, effort, head, humor, impossible, memory, mental, mental effort, mission, Mission Impossible, music, password, pop, pop culture, remember, song, theme, theme song, trying
I put the hot in psychotic.

0

2 months ago

confidence, hot, humor, i, personality, psychotic, put, self-deprecation, wit
Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

0

2 months ago

advice, change, changing, Doc, doctor, give, health, humor, i, lifestyle, me, straight, straight talk, talk, wellness
“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

0

2 months ago

40, back pain, dream, earworm, music
A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

0

2 months ago

blind, blindness, compliment, face, guy, humor, perception, said, wonderful
Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

0

5 days ago

another, communication, digital, digital life, entertainment, extend, hours, humor, Instagram, intended, let, life, media, message, notification, online, online communication, run, should, social, social media, story, Target, visibility

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

13 shares on Discord this month:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Trending via WhatsApp:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Just landed via WeChat:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Making waves on YouTube:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Spotted on X:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

I put the hot in psychotic.

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨