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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Making waves on TikTok:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Spotted on Discord:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Just shared via TikTok:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Making waves on Messenger:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

3 weeks ago

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Looks like someone's mixing divine inspiration with DM sliding skills! 🙏😅📜

bible, Bible quote, bio, contradiction, dating, DM, humor, match, media, message, profile, social, social media

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Spotted on Threads:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Making waves on Facebook:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Going viral on Reddit:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Going bananas on Reddit:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Just landed via Slack:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

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Activity Log ✨

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨