Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Going viral on Discord:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Spreading quickly via X:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

4 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting a funny mismatch between a DM and Bible quote in a bio.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's mixing divine inspiration with DM sliding skills! 🙏😅📜

bible, Bible quote, bio, contradiction, dating, DM, humor, match, media, message, profile, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Threads this month:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

39 shares on X this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

18 shares on Slack this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Live now on Facebook:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Just shared via Twitch:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨