Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Breaking via WeChat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Just landed via YouTube:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Just shared via Discord:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

More funny quotes 👇

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

0

2 weeks ago

humor, knows, met, never, psychology, secret, somewhere, therapist, unknown
My default setting is sexual energy.

0

2 weeks ago

default, default setting, energy, humor, personality, setting, sexual, sexual energy
Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

0

2 weeks ago

biting, funny invitation, gingerbread, gingerbread man, heads, holiday, holiday treat, invitation, man, men, snack, sweet, sweet snack, swing, treat
It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

0

2 weeks ago

day, fitness, gym, humor, joke, leg, leg day, misunderstanding, self-care, shaving
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

0

2 weeks ago

communication, confession, date, ever, every, honesty, humor, idea, love, me, relationship, tell, thought
Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

0

2 weeks ago

80s, 80s film, appearance, charming, charming lead, classic, days, discord, Discord mod, film, gathering, group, guy, hair, having, i, lead, long hair, magic, Magic: The Gathering, mod, Navy, runs, scary
Death by a thousand stupid questions.

0

2 weeks ago

death, exaggeration, frustration, humor, question, questions, sarcasm, stupid
Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

0

2 weeks ago

anxiety, drink, glass, humor, ice-cold, pouring, stress
Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

0

2 weeks ago

ability, complication, difficult, difficulty, effort, humor, needs, never, procrastination, self-deprecating, something, underestimate
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, communication, even, honesty, humor, lying, relationship, understanding, woman, women

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blink if you want me!

70 shares on X this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

63 shares on Slack this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

84 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Breaking via Telegram:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Trending via Discord:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Spotted on Instagram:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Going viral on X:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Breaking via WeChat:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨