Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Who needs divine intervention when you've got self-confidence to the max? 🙌 Believe in yourself, and watch miracles happen (or at least some impressive self-improvement)! 🌟 #FaithInMeNotDeity
5 months ago
Share →: If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Commentary:
"If liars' pants caught on fire, I bet the weather segment would be really hot 🔥👖😂 #FakeNewsFirestorm"
5 months ago
Share →: The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Commentary:
Sip your tea, darling ☕️🌍 Just remember, chaos is a constant. So why not enjoy a cuppa amidst the madness? It's the small moments of tranquility that keep us sane in this wacky world! 😜 #TeaTimeCuresAll
5 months ago
Share →: Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol’ days when TP and eggs were the ultimate weapons of mischief! 🧻🥚 Nothing says "I dislike you, but also appreciate good hygiene" quite like a midnight egg toss. 🌙💥 Just imagine the chaos and the not-so-subtle message it sends to your foes! 🔥😂
5 months ago
Share →: We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣📺 "Move over, Don Draper – looks like we've got a new squad of ad wizards ready to save us from those never-ending jingles and over-the-top product placements! 💪🎬 Let's make commercials great again… but first, coffee break. ☕️😉"
5 months ago
Share →: No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"
5 months ago
Share →: Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal mystery of the Super Bowl name 🏈🎳 Perhaps it's because the players are always striking to make those touchdowns! Or maybe it's a clever marketing ploy to spare us from the spare moments of a regular old bowling game! Whatever the reason, one thing's for sure: the only strikes happening at the Super Bowl are on the field, not the lanes!
5 months ago
Share →: Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Commentary:
"Always make sure to keep the boss guessing 🤔💭… or at least give the illusion that you're contemplating profound matters instead of just daydreaming about lunch 🥪😂. Mastering the art of 'Hmmmm' can take your workplace presence from 'average employee' to 'deep thinker extraordinaire' in no time! 😆 #BossMindGames"
5 months ago
Share →: All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Commentary:
“Who needs a therapist when you have a dog? 🐾 Most of them are just winging it anyways! 🤣 #FreelanceTherapists”
5 months ago
Share →: Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Commentary:
Who needs a therapist when you have a spacious living room and a killer playlist! 💃🏡 Let those walls be witnesses to your fabulous moves and joyful heartbeats! Dance like nobody's watching… because, well, nobody is! 😄🎶 #HomeIsWhereTheDanceFloorIs