Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Trending via Twitch:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Just shared via Discord:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Seen just now on X:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Trending via WeChat:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Trending via Reddit:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When she calls you a "nice guy," just remember: you're only one fedora away from becoming a meme 🤠😂

better, calling, dating, girl, guy, hate, humor, insult, million, nice, nice guy, relationship, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

0

2 months ago

dirty, every, humor, humor statistic, joke, observation, people, perception, playful, sarcasm, sentence, something, statistic
Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

0

2 months ago

again, chore, done, dryer, forget, forgetfulness, household, household chore, humor, i, just, laundry, pop, procrastination, waiting
Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

0

2 months ago

awarenes, digital, digital life, exist, humor, life, notification, reminder, sarcasm, technology
My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

0

4 months ago

city, city life, daily, daily routine, entertainment, family, hard, humor, i, knife, life, musical, NYC, routine, southern, southern family, stabbed, stabbing, stereotype, try, wake
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

0

5 months ago

boss, friend, friends, humor, job, law, lie, literally, old, pretend, put, reference, references
Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

0

2 months ago

die, humor, irony, joke, life, man, marriage, money, old, old man, relationship, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Messenger this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Trending via Telegram:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Breaking via Messenger:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Shared recently on Discord:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Making waves on Twitch:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Spotted on YouTube:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨