Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,800

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Just landed via Discord:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Live now on X:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦹‍♀️

beautiful, beautiful woman, confidence, ew, expression, humor, most, power, powerful, reaction, say, sometimes, thing, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

0

2 weeks ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, honesty, i, least, liar, present, presents, relationship, single
Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, awareness, bill, everyone, fight, financial, financial awareness, gas, gas bill, heat, heating, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, love, man, manhood, outside, remind, responsibility, time, trying
You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, distraction, doing, doing well, email, found, going, i, me, surprise, well
Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

0

2 months ago

activity, comparison, drinking, humor, irony, opposite, snorkeling, straw
We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

0

3 months ago

adulting, chat, creative, employment, group, group chat, humor, insurance, know, needs, someone, underemployed
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

0

1 month ago

care, comedy, ever, frustration, good, humor, interaction, nobody, nobody care, shake, social, social interaction, somebody, whisper

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Spotted on Slack:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Just landed via Facebook:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Live now on Threads:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Just shared via YouTube:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Just shared via X:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨