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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Just shared via X:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about beauty and honesty, featuring witty, playful words on a humorous tone.

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Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦹‍♀️

beautiful, beautiful woman, confidence, ew, expression, humor, most, power, powerful, reaction, say, sometimes, thing, woman

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

58 shares on Slack this month:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

48 shares on X this month:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Trending via Discord:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Live now on Messenger:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Trending via Facebook:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Just landed via Threads:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨