Commentary:
When Uncle starts his electrifying tales, I just grab a mashed potato shield and hope for the best ⚡️🛡️🥔
Author Archives: slickboy
In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect plan for a spotless home! Thanksgiving might just become the cleanest hide-and-seek holiday ever! 🧹🤫🏠
This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.
Commentary:
When they ask about my life goals, I'm like, "Goal 1: Mashed potatoes. Goal 2: See Goal 1." 🥔😂
Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.
Commentary:
Aww, someone call the cheese factory because this is getting extra cheesy! 🧀💕 All aboard the love train, choo choo! 🚂❤️
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.
Commentary:
Oh, so they’ve got a PhD in fibbing and think I'm in preschool math? 😏📚🤔
Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.
Commentary:
A man posting relationship pics? That's like spotting a unicorn in the wild! 🦄📸
If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.
Commentary:
When someone drunk texts you, consider it a rock-solid testament to your undeniable charm 🍻🤔💫
It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.
Commentary:
Time to upgrade my anxiety wardrobe with some festive flair! 🎄😅✨
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.
Commentary:
Untangling those lights will be his festive initiation, hope he's got a patience level set to 'zen master' 😂🕯️🎄🔍
I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.
Commentary:
I swear bills have GPS, they always know when to find me! 📬💸