Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Just landed via Facebook:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Just shared via TikTok:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Trending via Threads:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Live now on Messenger:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Avocado is just green butter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Avocado: the butter that went to yoga and became enlightened 🧘🥑💚 #HealthyFats #Namaste"

avocado, butter, comparison, culinary, culinary joke, fat, food, food comparison, food humor, green, healthy, healthy fat, humor, joke, just

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

0

2 months ago

around, bed, break, daydreaming, humor, locket, longing, lunch, lunch break, neck, picture, procrastination, staring
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

0

2 months ago

activity, area, beach, coastal, coastal area, envy, fun, fun activity, jealousy, just, lifestyle, live, mean, people, random, random Tuesday, Tuesday
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

0

2 months ago

another, big, big city, city, day, explaining, family, footage, humor, mom, new, New York, saw, shot, street, york
Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

0

2 months ago

big, compliment, cooking, family, flex, food, good, having, humor, mom
Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

0

2 months ago

brain, communication, hate, honesty, humor, impulsiveness, keep, mouth, quiet, regret, self-control, something, speech, trying
Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

0

2 months ago

AI, assume, assumption, everyone, humor, i, just, lie, life, modern, modern life, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

35 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

81 shares on X this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Just shared via Pinterest:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Making waves on Reddit:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Making waves on Reddit:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Going viral on X:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Live now on Messenger:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Avocado is just green butter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨