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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Making waves on YouTube:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Trending via Threads:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Seen just now on X:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Breaking via WeChat:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Witty text about dating mishaps, humorously reflecting self-awareness and irony.
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Commentary:
Karma's scheduling department is really efficient these days! 😂📅💔

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Trending via Messenger:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Just landed via YouTube:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Trending via Threads:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Just shared via WeChat:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Making waves on Discord:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Making waves on WeChat:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

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