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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Shared recently on Threads:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Going viral on Telegram:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

18 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about car insurance rewarding safe drivers with cashback.

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Commentary:
I drive like a grandma on a Sunday morning, where's my "Safe Driver Bonus" at? 🚗💸👵

accident, accidents, back, car, car insurance, end, give, having, insurance, insurance policy, money, policy, refund, reward, safety, safety reward, should, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Trending via Facebook:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Just landed via X:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Making waves on YouTube:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Trending via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Making waves on Discord:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Just landed via Slack:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Breaking via YouTube:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

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Activity Log ✨

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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